Top 10 Athlete Scandals of All Time

10. Pete Rose - One of the biggest sleazeballs of sports, or just a guy who cared too much? I'll stick with the "care too much" philosophy of Rose, with a little bit of "total whackjob" mixed in. I mean, who else in baseball has wracked up so many hits, while once plowing a catcher in an All-Star Game (and effectively ending that catcher's career) and betting on the team he managed? The answer is no one. I sincerely believe there is a 100-1 shot that sometime in my lifetime I'll run into Rose in Vegas and end up losing a grand betting on horses with him. On a related note, how many hookers has Rose bagged in his lifetime? 50? 100? Are we talking thousands? I don't know.

9. Michael Phelps - In a matter of months went from "international sensation" to "pot smoker". What is the big deal here? I mean, the kid did spend a couple of years at the University of Michigan, which hosts an annual "hash bash", which is also the only annual event where bums/stoners/college kids all gather in one event. What I really want to know is whatever happened to the kid who took the photo? I'd say Phelps has enough "cache" to get this kid severely beaten, or murdered. If we were doing a "Top 10 douches of all time" list, the kid who took the photo would probably come in at #10. Also, I wish Phelps would do a "high times" cover some time with Bill Walton and Todd Marijuanavich. I'd get that mother fucker blown up and put it in my living room.

8. Tonya Harding / Nancy Kerrigan - Made women's figure skating relevant again. Also spawned several Dateline shows, a made for TV movie, and the popularity of Tonya's wedding night sex tape. Also made "Jeff Galoulie (sp?)" a national celebrity. Any time all of this happens, it has to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Say what you will about this altercation, but Americans who were alive during this will always be able to answer the question of "Why? Why? Why?" (as well as - "Damn, that Tonya Harding is a dead fish in the sack").

7. Sammy Sosa - Made this list for multiple reasons. He was likely injecting McGwire while both made baseball relevant again, he corked his bat, he never knew when to give up (Baltimore and Texas, anyone?), but most importantly - he recently turned "white". Is the guy a total moron or just a total nutcase? I don't know. Probably a little bit of both. All I know is that when I saw this "Sosa turns white due to skin treatment similar to Michael Jackson" I threw up a little in my mouth. I hope he goes away or writes a book similar to Canseco, in which no one will understand what he is saying because he is borderline illiterate.

6. Patrick Ewing - The Gold Club is why he is here. Personally, it is my favorite story involving athletes and scandals over the last 20 years. Why? Anytime you get a bunch of athletes (Ewing was the prominent figure) getting blow jobs, hand jobs, and probably their salads tossed by a bunch of dirty Atlanta strippers, you have to pay attention. Ewing testified that he would receive private dances, pop a huge boner, and be "finished off" with oral sex by these girls. This scandal forever damaged his persona, but somehow he remains tied to the NBA - teaching young phenom Dwight Howard how to choke in big games.

5. Steve McNair - I can't really write anything comical about this one, as it was a pretty sad story. Former NFL player who was looked up to as a stand up guy among everyone in the league is found murdered by his young mistress. Although the details are pretty sleazy (McNair spent a lot of money on his mistress), there isn't anything funny about a murder-suicide involving one of the best black QBs of all time. Note to all NFL players - if you're married, don't fuck around on your wife, and if you do - make sure she's isn't ugly as fuck and a total psychopath. In fact...

4. Kobe Bryant - I CAN write something funny about this (I think). Kobe was charged with sexual assault on a young girl in Colorado. You know the fall out - huge rock for Kobe's wife, trial going on during the NBA season, and Kobe ultimately settling out of court. What most people don't know is what spawned all of this (other than Kobe "being Kobe"). The answer to that is the trifecta. What is this trifecta I speak of? Well, it's a common practice amongst NBA players and groupies, whereby the athlete receives a blowjob, vaginal sex, and anal sex. Apparently this girl wasn't very receptive to the anal sex part, and spawned many arguments of "Kobe messed up because he chose a young, innocent girl - a seasoned NBA groupie would have gone along 100% and the mess would have been averted". Lesson to all NBA players - stick to groupies. Lesson to all women - anal sex, once in a while, can be a very, very good thing.

3. Michael Vick - Another disgusting story that might fall under the category of "too soon" if people start making jokes about it. So, what to say here? Vick was dumb enough to think that dogfighting wasn't a big deal and ultimately ruined his career because of it. He'll forever be remembered as the guy who killed dogs, not the electric QB that almost changed the way the professional football was played. I think his NFL career is over, although he is probably still a better QB than JaMarcus Russell and whoever is leading the Browns (that's right Delhomme, you've avoided my wrath this time, but be careful). I hope in five years we get a movie out of this, with Omar Epps playing Vick (bonus points if the roided out white guy from The Program plays a supporting role).

2. Tim Donaghy - What did his ordeal teach everyone? Well, probably "getting involved with the mob and gamblers to fix NBA games is a bad idea". Pretty logical stuff actually. How dumb was Donaghy? Well, not as dumb as the NBA, which failed to catch on and probably accounted for several NBA seasons that were ruined by his refereeing (San Antonio over Phoenix anyone?). He's recently been released from jail and will probably make a significant fortune over the next 20 years by speaking to people telling them "ruining your life is bad". I would not be surprised if he were found dead in the next five years, or another scandal involving a dead hooker.

1. The Black Sox - Fixing a world series is a bad idea, end of story. This topic brings up an important question - when did sports become relevant? You can't tell me that in 1919 that sports were relevant. Why? You had a team fixing a championship series. Clearly any time an outsider can come in, throw some money around, and get a team to agree to lose, your sport has major problems. Sure, there are still problems today (gambling, PEDs, etc.) but those problems don't typically lead to cheating of this magnitude. So, in my opinion....

- Baseball became relevant during the Mickey Mantle era. You have WS fixing in 1919, and then star players (e.g., Ted Williams) going off to fight in WW2. These things would never happen today.

- Basketball became relevant after the days of Bill Russell. There was an unwritten code on keeping no more than 2 black players per team in the 50's and into the 60's - that's a joke. A bunch of big, tall white guys would be devoured in today's NBA.

- Football became relevant after the creation of the AFC and NFC. Styles have changed over the years, but after the merger, we started to see the NFL we have today.

- Hockey is relevant in Canada. That is all.