Debut of a new part of this blog - potshots. Basically I rip someone who is currently in sports. The first victim? Matt Millen.
I'm going to start off by showing you a team Millen could have realistically fielded as he was Lions GM from 2000 through 2008 (Note: "realistically" defined as "actual pick was a bust and guy they could have taken was gone within the next 10 picks and would have fit a position of need"):
QB: Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Flacco
RB: LenDale White, Ray Rice
TE: Chris Cooley, Brent Celek
WR: Steve Smith (utah), Andre Johnson, Marques Colston
T: Bryant McKinnie, Ryan Harris
DT: Frank Okam
OLB: Shawne Merriman, LaMarr Woodley
MLB: Scott Fujita
CB: Nate Clements
S: Ken Hamlin, Bob Sanders
Granted most of these are totally off in a fantasy world (hell, the Lions had a lot of team needs, so this was pretty easy), but there were two f*ck ups that caught my eye: Millen drafting Mike Williams (WR - USC) over Big Ben and taking Drew Stanton (QB - MSU) in the second round, a few picks before the HOMETOWN LaMarr Woodley.
The reason Mike Williams was taken, beyond that Millen is simply a pure moron, is that he was the best player available (even though he hadn't played football in a year) and Joey Harrington was still around (and for some reason Millen had faith). This idiotic move cost the Lions 10 years, minimum.
The next year Millen drafts a QB in the second round, even though Stanton is NOT a franchise QB. I don't get this, at all. He never won anything at MSU, and his combine numbers weren't eye popping. Woodley dominated for four years at Michigan, grew up in the area, and was pretty much a "can't miss" talent for a second round price. I think Pittsburgh owes Detroit some sort of annuity for this.
Since those two decisions took place, the Steelers have won 2 Super Bowls and the Lions went 0-16 last year. Matt Millen, please take a bow.
So why is he everywhere these days? He set the Lions back 20 years with his 9 year GM stint. He doesn't deserve to constantly be on TV. Just check out his current gigs:
Announcing on NFL network
Announcing ABC college football
Announcing ESPN college football
Broadcast booth on ESPN Monday Night Football
Broadcast booth on NBC Sunday Night Football
Unreal. Go away Millen. I'm not even a Lions fan.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
NFL Picks - Week 11
Buffalo (+9) over JACKSONVILLE. I don't think Jax is a 9 point spread team, even if they are at home. I know Buffalo is bad, but work with me here. At least they have some offensive players who can bust big plays. MJD still has a field day here.
KANSAS CITY (+11) over Pittsburgh. No Troy P = No Good for Pitt. KC looks a little revamped over the past few weeks, and could possibly put up a good show at home. No DBowe is a problem for this team, but 11 points is a lot for this PIT team to be giving this year.
Indianapolis (-2) over BALTIMORE. Peyton Manning for MVP this year, no doubt. I think Baltimore is overrated. Indy exposes them. Like a male flasher to females.
Seattle (+11) over MINNESOTA. For some reason Brett Favre is earning points with me this year. I used to hate that guy but now it doesn't seem like he's that bad of a guy. Perhaps it is because all of GB (trash) hates him. Anyway, a lot of points to be giving up to a Seattle team that is either boom or bust each week. This one is a total crapshoot.
Atlanta (+7) over NEW YORK GIANTS. I don't care if Michael Turner is out, 7 points here is ridiculous. Matt Ryan has a field day with those Giants DBs. I think Atlanta wins, actually. Bet on them straight up. Big pay day.
New Orleans (-11) over TAMPA BAY. I'm listening to Lil Wayne right now, I'll call that an omen for the Saints in this game. And BTW, I think the Saints do it BIG today after squeezing past the Rams last week. I'm talking 4 TD winning margin big.
DETROIT (-3) over Cleveland. Holy shit Detroit is laying points and I'm taking them. Says a lot about Cleveland this year.
San Francisco (+6.5) over GREEN BAY. Too many points here, but I do like GB to win this game.
Washington (+11) over DALLAS. Again, seems like a little bit too much for me. I'd like this at Dallas -7, but not much more.
ST. LOUIS (+9.5) over Arizona. I don't trust Kurt Warner this year, at all. Another one of those "don't touch" games. I'll take STL after their performance against NO last week.
NEW ENGLAND (-11) over New York Jets. Revenge game. NE playing out of its mind over the past month. A spread you can't really explain. All of these things add up to "bet on NE for this game".
Cincinnati (-9.5) over OAKLAND. If this were NE or Indy or NO the spread would be 14. The Bengals are still getting a discount. I think they win this game by 3 TDs. My second lock of the week.
San Diego (-5.5) over DENVER. WOW, what a spread. Denver was undefeated just a few weeks ago and now this? Why the hell would I take SD laying that many points on the road? Sometimes, it's all about the simple things in life. Rivers > Simms. By a lot.
CHICAGO (+3) over Philadelphia. Tough game to bet on. I'll take the Bears in a bounce back game over the up-and-down Eagles.
HOUSTON (-4) over Tennessee. Vince Young > The Alcoholic but is not enough here. BTW, this is a Monday Night game? Two terrible ones in a row. Thanks NFL! Seriously, we can't make SNF and MNF games after the bye weeks have some sort of "flex" option, where we are getting the best games every week? Too complex for you, NFL?
KANSAS CITY (+11) over Pittsburgh. No Troy P = No Good for Pitt. KC looks a little revamped over the past few weeks, and could possibly put up a good show at home. No DBowe is a problem for this team, but 11 points is a lot for this PIT team to be giving this year.
Indianapolis (-2) over BALTIMORE. Peyton Manning for MVP this year, no doubt. I think Baltimore is overrated. Indy exposes them. Like a male flasher to females.
Seattle (+11) over MINNESOTA. For some reason Brett Favre is earning points with me this year. I used to hate that guy but now it doesn't seem like he's that bad of a guy. Perhaps it is because all of GB (trash) hates him. Anyway, a lot of points to be giving up to a Seattle team that is either boom or bust each week. This one is a total crapshoot.
Atlanta (+7) over NEW YORK GIANTS. I don't care if Michael Turner is out, 7 points here is ridiculous. Matt Ryan has a field day with those Giants DBs. I think Atlanta wins, actually. Bet on them straight up. Big pay day.
New Orleans (-11) over TAMPA BAY. I'm listening to Lil Wayne right now, I'll call that an omen for the Saints in this game. And BTW, I think the Saints do it BIG today after squeezing past the Rams last week. I'm talking 4 TD winning margin big.
DETROIT (-3) over Cleveland. Holy shit Detroit is laying points and I'm taking them. Says a lot about Cleveland this year.
San Francisco (+6.5) over GREEN BAY. Too many points here, but I do like GB to win this game.
Washington (+11) over DALLAS. Again, seems like a little bit too much for me. I'd like this at Dallas -7, but not much more.
ST. LOUIS (+9.5) over Arizona. I don't trust Kurt Warner this year, at all. Another one of those "don't touch" games. I'll take STL after their performance against NO last week.
NEW ENGLAND (-11) over New York Jets. Revenge game. NE playing out of its mind over the past month. A spread you can't really explain. All of these things add up to "bet on NE for this game".
Cincinnati (-9.5) over OAKLAND. If this were NE or Indy or NO the spread would be 14. The Bengals are still getting a discount. I think they win this game by 3 TDs. My second lock of the week.
San Diego (-5.5) over DENVER. WOW, what a spread. Denver was undefeated just a few weeks ago and now this? Why the hell would I take SD laying that many points on the road? Sometimes, it's all about the simple things in life. Rivers > Simms. By a lot.
CHICAGO (+3) over Philadelphia. Tough game to bet on. I'll take the Bears in a bounce back game over the up-and-down Eagles.
HOUSTON (-4) over Tennessee. Vince Young > The Alcoholic but is not enough here. BTW, this is a Monday Night game? Two terrible ones in a row. Thanks NFL! Seriously, we can't make SNF and MNF games after the bye weeks have some sort of "flex" option, where we are getting the best games every week? Too complex for you, NFL?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Top 10 Athlete Scandals of All Time
10. Pete Rose - One of the biggest sleazeballs of sports, or just a guy who cared too much? I'll stick with the "care too much" philosophy of Rose, with a little bit of "total whackjob" mixed in. I mean, who else in baseball has wracked up so many hits, while once plowing a catcher in an All-Star Game (and effectively ending that catcher's career) and betting on the team he managed? The answer is no one. I sincerely believe there is a 100-1 shot that sometime in my lifetime I'll run into Rose in Vegas and end up losing a grand betting on horses with him. On a related note, how many hookers has Rose bagged in his lifetime? 50? 100? Are we talking thousands? I don't know.
9. Michael Phelps - In a matter of months went from "international sensation" to "pot smoker". What is the big deal here? I mean, the kid did spend a couple of years at the University of Michigan, which hosts an annual "hash bash", which is also the only annual event where bums/stoners/college kids all gather in one event. What I really want to know is whatever happened to the kid who took the photo? I'd say Phelps has enough "cache" to get this kid severely beaten, or murdered. If we were doing a "Top 10 douches of all time" list, the kid who took the photo would probably come in at #10. Also, I wish Phelps would do a "high times" cover some time with Bill Walton and Todd Marijuanavich. I'd get that mother fucker blown up and put it in my living room.
8. Tonya Harding / Nancy Kerrigan - Made women's figure skating relevant again. Also spawned several Dateline shows, a made for TV movie, and the popularity of Tonya's wedding night sex tape. Also made "Jeff Galoulie (sp?)" a national celebrity. Any time all of this happens, it has to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Say what you will about this altercation, but Americans who were alive during this will always be able to answer the question of "Why? Why? Why?" (as well as - "Damn, that Tonya Harding is a dead fish in the sack").
7. Sammy Sosa - Made this list for multiple reasons. He was likely injecting McGwire while both made baseball relevant again, he corked his bat, he never knew when to give up (Baltimore and Texas, anyone?), but most importantly - he recently turned "white". Is the guy a total moron or just a total nutcase? I don't know. Probably a little bit of both. All I know is that when I saw this "Sosa turns white due to skin treatment similar to Michael Jackson" I threw up a little in my mouth. I hope he goes away or writes a book similar to Canseco, in which no one will understand what he is saying because he is borderline illiterate.
6. Patrick Ewing - The Gold Club is why he is here. Personally, it is my favorite story involving athletes and scandals over the last 20 years. Why? Anytime you get a bunch of athletes (Ewing was the prominent figure) getting blow jobs, hand jobs, and probably their salads tossed by a bunch of dirty Atlanta strippers, you have to pay attention. Ewing testified that he would receive private dances, pop a huge boner, and be "finished off" with oral sex by these girls. This scandal forever damaged his persona, but somehow he remains tied to the NBA - teaching young phenom Dwight Howard how to choke in big games.
5. Steve McNair - I can't really write anything comical about this one, as it was a pretty sad story. Former NFL player who was looked up to as a stand up guy among everyone in the league is found murdered by his young mistress. Although the details are pretty sleazy (McNair spent a lot of money on his mistress), there isn't anything funny about a murder-suicide involving one of the best black QBs of all time. Note to all NFL players - if you're married, don't fuck around on your wife, and if you do - make sure she's isn't ugly as fuck and a total psychopath. In fact...
4. Kobe Bryant - I CAN write something funny about this (I think). Kobe was charged with sexual assault on a young girl in Colorado. You know the fall out - huge rock for Kobe's wife, trial going on during the NBA season, and Kobe ultimately settling out of court. What most people don't know is what spawned all of this (other than Kobe "being Kobe"). The answer to that is the trifecta. What is this trifecta I speak of? Well, it's a common practice amongst NBA players and groupies, whereby the athlete receives a blowjob, vaginal sex, and anal sex. Apparently this girl wasn't very receptive to the anal sex part, and spawned many arguments of "Kobe messed up because he chose a young, innocent girl - a seasoned NBA groupie would have gone along 100% and the mess would have been averted". Lesson to all NBA players - stick to groupies. Lesson to all women - anal sex, once in a while, can be a very, very good thing.
3. Michael Vick - Another disgusting story that might fall under the category of "too soon" if people start making jokes about it. So, what to say here? Vick was dumb enough to think that dogfighting wasn't a big deal and ultimately ruined his career because of it. He'll forever be remembered as the guy who killed dogs, not the electric QB that almost changed the way the professional football was played. I think his NFL career is over, although he is probably still a better QB than JaMarcus Russell and whoever is leading the Browns (that's right Delhomme, you've avoided my wrath this time, but be careful). I hope in five years we get a movie out of this, with Omar Epps playing Vick (bonus points if the roided out white guy from The Program plays a supporting role).
2. Tim Donaghy - What did his ordeal teach everyone? Well, probably "getting involved with the mob and gamblers to fix NBA games is a bad idea". Pretty logical stuff actually. How dumb was Donaghy? Well, not as dumb as the NBA, which failed to catch on and probably accounted for several NBA seasons that were ruined by his refereeing (San Antonio over Phoenix anyone?). He's recently been released from jail and will probably make a significant fortune over the next 20 years by speaking to people telling them "ruining your life is bad". I would not be surprised if he were found dead in the next five years, or another scandal involving a dead hooker.
1. The Black Sox - Fixing a world series is a bad idea, end of story. This topic brings up an important question - when did sports become relevant? You can't tell me that in 1919 that sports were relevant. Why? You had a team fixing a championship series. Clearly any time an outsider can come in, throw some money around, and get a team to agree to lose, your sport has major problems. Sure, there are still problems today (gambling, PEDs, etc.) but those problems don't typically lead to cheating of this magnitude. So, in my opinion....
- Baseball became relevant during the Mickey Mantle era. You have WS fixing in 1919, and then star players (e.g., Ted Williams) going off to fight in WW2. These things would never happen today.
- Basketball became relevant after the days of Bill Russell. There was an unwritten code on keeping no more than 2 black players per team in the 50's and into the 60's - that's a joke. A bunch of big, tall white guys would be devoured in today's NBA.
- Football became relevant after the creation of the AFC and NFC. Styles have changed over the years, but after the merger, we started to see the NFL we have today.
- Hockey is relevant in Canada. That is all.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
NFL Picks - Week 10
New Orleans (-14) over ST. LOUIS. This will be a fucking bloodbath. SJax might be predator, but the rest of his team sucks.
Jacksonville (+7) over NEW YORK JETS. I don't trust the Jets this year laying a TD. I don't trust Garrard, either, but at least the Jags have MJD.
Atlanta (-1.5) over CAROLINA. Lock of the week. Falcons by 21 in this game. Delhomme.
Buffalo (+8.5) over TENNESSEE. VY is better than the alcoholic, and Chris Johnson is on a hot streak, but it has to end sometime, right? This is NOT a team that's going to win 10 games in a row and make a miracle playoff run. Sorry. Buffalo is in no way that much worse than the Titans.
Detroit (+16.5) over MINNESOTA. Here's betting that the final spread will be somewhere around 13-14 points. Minnesota is much better than Detroit, but not almost 17 points better.
PITTSBURGH (-7) over Cincinnati. I just have a feeling that the Steelers with Troy P are a much, much better squad. Plus they have to be completely irate with their loss at Cinci earlier this year.
MIAMI (-10) over Tampa Bay. Not buying into Tampa Bay, at all. I will buy into Miami at home and playing well. Huge days for Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown.
Denver (-4) over WASHINGTON. I'd say this is close to another lock of the week. I'm not ready to give up on Denver and Washington is just.... awful.
Kansas City (+2) over OAKLAND. I would never advise a sane person to bet on Jamarcus Russell.
ARIZONA (-7.5) over Seattle. I don't buy into Seattle on the road, especially when that team they are facing already killed them earlier this season. Not even close here.
GREEN BAY (+3) over Dallas. Green Bay getting points at home when their team isn't really that bad + Going against Romo = Straight Cash.
Philadelphia (Pick'em) over SAN DIEGO. Phillip Rivers is for real and that comeback win last week was amazing. However, I'm buying into Philly as being for real and the Eagles WRs torching the SD CBs.
INDIANAPOLIS (-2.5) over New England. I'm not betting against Manning at home. Not this year.
Baltimore (-11) over CLEVELAND. I can't believe this is the Monday Night game. I don't even want to write about this game. It sucks.
Jacksonville (+7) over NEW YORK JETS. I don't trust the Jets this year laying a TD. I don't trust Garrard, either, but at least the Jags have MJD.
Atlanta (-1.5) over CAROLINA. Lock of the week. Falcons by 21 in this game. Delhomme.
Buffalo (+8.5) over TENNESSEE. VY is better than the alcoholic, and Chris Johnson is on a hot streak, but it has to end sometime, right? This is NOT a team that's going to win 10 games in a row and make a miracle playoff run. Sorry. Buffalo is in no way that much worse than the Titans.
Detroit (+16.5) over MINNESOTA. Here's betting that the final spread will be somewhere around 13-14 points. Minnesota is much better than Detroit, but not almost 17 points better.
PITTSBURGH (-7) over Cincinnati. I just have a feeling that the Steelers with Troy P are a much, much better squad. Plus they have to be completely irate with their loss at Cinci earlier this year.
MIAMI (-10) over Tampa Bay. Not buying into Tampa Bay, at all. I will buy into Miami at home and playing well. Huge days for Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown.
Denver (-4) over WASHINGTON. I'd say this is close to another lock of the week. I'm not ready to give up on Denver and Washington is just.... awful.
Kansas City (+2) over OAKLAND. I would never advise a sane person to bet on Jamarcus Russell.
ARIZONA (-7.5) over Seattle. I don't buy into Seattle on the road, especially when that team they are facing already killed them earlier this season. Not even close here.
GREEN BAY (+3) over Dallas. Green Bay getting points at home when their team isn't really that bad + Going against Romo = Straight Cash.
Philadelphia (Pick'em) over SAN DIEGO. Phillip Rivers is for real and that comeback win last week was amazing. However, I'm buying into Philly as being for real and the Eagles WRs torching the SD CBs.
INDIANAPOLIS (-2.5) over New England. I'm not betting against Manning at home. Not this year.
Baltimore (-11) over CLEVELAND. I can't believe this is the Monday Night game. I don't even want to write about this game. It sucks.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thursday Night Football
Mike Singletary drops his pants after the first quarter, exposing his dick.
Niners by 10. Bet on them (-3).
Niners by 10. Bet on them (-3).
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Joe Cada Wins World Series of Poker
First of all, I'd like to congratulate a 21 year old kid from Michigan who won the WSOP championship yesterday. The kid has been playing high stakes online since he was 15, bought his first house at 19 (fully paid with cash) and now has won over $8 million as a 21 year old.
That's a lot of money for a young kid to have, so here's hoping he doesn't turn into one of those "lottery winners" who ends up dead in less than 10 years.
Second of all, FUCK YOU YAHOO! for POSTING THE GOD DAMN PICTURE OF HIM WINNING ON YOUR FRONT PAGE TODAY. YOU RUINED 8 WEEKS OF MY LIFE I SPENT WATCHING THIS SHIT ON ESPN. I'M FILING A LAW SUIT.
Also of note:
- Approximately 1 million teenagers nationwide just decided to skip college and become professional poker players. Approximately 10 will make it. The others will start what we call the "Cada effect" (like the "Moneymaker effect") and instead of a large increase in WSOP entries, we'll see a marked increase in online players, kids without jobs, and homeless people who look surprisingly young.
- Although he didn't go to the University of Michigan (he was making more money at 15 than most post-college grads, so why go to school?), he aligned with them during his run - wearing a white M hat in July and bringing back a crew of people with M maize hats and a maize M shirt. Take that Michigan State. You continue to bow down to Michigan. Little Brother.
- I'm going to play some online poker now...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
College Football 2009 - Why You Should Just Give Up Now
Alright, I felt the need to write a little post after Saturday's games. Here is what I am saying - forget college football this year unless you're a Florida, Texas, or Alabama fan.
Where We Have Been
A ton of premature ejaculations this year. Let's review:
1) Tebow / McCoy / Bradford Heisman race. What a joke this has turned into. Tebow has been good, but arguably regressed from previous years. McCoy - also solid but not nearly the player he was last year. Bradford was hurt in the first game, and then knocked out for good in the Texas game. Two of these three QB's teams are still undefeated but have been more "puddling along" than "putting the pedal to the metal".
2) The return of old favorites to excellence - Michigan, Miami, and Notre Dame. Michigan wins its first 4 games before losing 5 of its next 6 - something that certainly has Rich Rod and his coaching staff under fire. Miami beats ranked FSU and Georgia Tech before getting blown out by Virginia Tech (an honorable mention for this category) and losing to Clemson in OT (but note they have been the most impressive case for "comeback team thus far", winning all of their other games). Notre Dame just lost to Navy. Again. And they lost to Michigan - which is looking worse and worse every week (note to ND fans - if you are celebrating Michigan's demise - that's just hurting you).
3) The solid programs turning into elite programs but then shitting the bed. I'm talking to you, Iowa and Oregon. How can you reasonably expect anyone to take you serious this year when you either: (a) Almost lose your first game to a D-2 school and then lose to Northwestern of all people (Iowa) or (b) Get blown out in your first game in which your star RB gets suspended indefinitely for punching out an opposing player in the post-game and getting blown out by Stanford (Oregon). You guys had it made - could have made a Natty Title run and all you had to do was win your last 3 (Iowa) or 4 (Oregon) games. So sad.
Where We Are
ACC - Your best school (Georgia Tech) runs a high school offense that any self respecting defensive coordinator should be able to stop. Your "Atlantic" representative will have either 3 or 4 losses and with a little luck could receive a BCS bid (total joke). Your worst school (Maryland) is one of three schools from major conferences to already be eliminated from bowl contention. As a conference, for what seems like the 10th year in a row, you've failed to turn solid recruiting classes (VT, Miami, FSU, North Carolina) into on-the-field-talent. You suck. All non-ACC schools hate you for having a BCS bid.
Big 12 - Texas is your best school, and remains undefeated although they've played poorly this year. What does that say about your conference? The North division is again a total joke, currently led by Kansas State (really?). Nebraska again looks great one weekend and terrible another. Mizzou looks awful after putting together an excellent early season resume. Oklahoma fans should contemplate suicide as they have completely fallen apart this year, even after their stars chose to return (not their fault that they were injured, though).
Big East - I can't take you seriously since your basketball division has like 20 teams and your football division has like 5 teams. How does this happen? I demand an NCAA investigation. Cincinnati and Pitt have been very impressive thus far - but then you start to remember that it's Cincinnati and Pitt and want to cry. Syracuse is again terrible and is the only way that Greg Robinson keeps his job at Michigan next year. The entire city of Louisville still wants to light Bobby Petrino on fire, while WVU seemingly will get over the Rich Rod exodus very soon.
Big Ten - Two of your three best teams (PSU and OSU) are capable of losing to any team in the division on a given week. If Iowa loses another game you will rival the ACC for "team that deserves to be here least" in a BCS bowl game. Until Michigan returns to glory (if ever), your conference will continue to be a joke. In fact, this will probably be the case until cold weather teams start to beat warm weather teams, if that ever happens. If Rich Rod has proven anything, it's that warm weather kids hate playing in cold weather - when will he stop recruiting Florida kids and start focusing on the Midwest? Terrelle Pryor continues to believe killing people is OK - just not opposing players on the football field (teammates however are fair game).
Pac 10 - Holy crapshoot, Batman. USC has more talent than any other program but still manages to choke away an easy game (Washington) and blow away a crucial game (Oregon). Oregon looks like front-runners until they lose to Stanford and everyone remembers that Boise State is a better team. Arizona and Stanford are bright spots, but lack the talent to be effective on the national stage against other conferences. Washington State is 1-8.
SEC - Again, the only "real" conference in college football. And trust me, I hate writing that. BUT - they are not real as all the outsiders would like to think. Yes, Florida and Alabama will likely play again for the Nationa... err, SEC Championship, but where are the other teams? Ole Miss was #4 in the preseason rankings but sits at 6-3. They are hands down the most disappointing team in the land this year, and that's not good for the conference. Florida is not as good as advertised, and Alabama has found success by signing 35 kids every year and then having the misfits magically disappear throughout the season (this is the sketchiest and dirtiest tactic deployed by any school in the NCAA). LSU is having a down year and lacks the offensive firepower to be a legit threat. Georgia is a huge disappointment and Tennessee continues to suck on Phil Fullmer's departed dick.
Where We Are Headed
If I were a gambling man, things would play out like this:
ACC - Georgia Tech holds on and "treats" a nationally televised audience to one of the most boring BCS games of all time.
Big 12 - Texas runs the table, benefiting from a weak conference. They are blown out in the national title game.
Big East - Cincinnati goes undefeated and finishes third. People are reminded of Auburn in 2003 and eventually Congress rules the BCS to be "unconstitutional" or something like that, and finally every college football fan gets what they want - a playoff system. Cinci also wins their BCS bowl game.
Big Ten - Iowa backs into the Rose Bowl by losing to OSU, but then celebrating as OSU chokes away the Michigan game. RR saves his job for one more year by winning the Pizza Bowl game.
Pac 10 - Oregon hangs on by a thread and blows out Iowa in the Rose Bowl. The Rose Bowl continues to wish for better days - like when Vince Young graced its presence with last second wins over USC and Michigan.
SEC - Alabama gets its revenge on Florida and plays Texas for the National Title. They win. Handily.
TCU and Boise State go undefeated and one makes a bowl game (probably Boise State), seeing as how they won't leapfrog a one-loss Florida or Alabama. TCU fans bitch and moan, but then remembers they are the 15th most popular program in Texas (including high schools) and shuts the fuck up.
College basketball is again in full force when the bowl games roll around and fans nationwide continue to think "why do we care about these bowls again"?
Playoff system by 2012.
Where We Have Been
A ton of premature ejaculations this year. Let's review:
1) Tebow / McCoy / Bradford Heisman race. What a joke this has turned into. Tebow has been good, but arguably regressed from previous years. McCoy - also solid but not nearly the player he was last year. Bradford was hurt in the first game, and then knocked out for good in the Texas game. Two of these three QB's teams are still undefeated but have been more "puddling along" than "putting the pedal to the metal".
2) The return of old favorites to excellence - Michigan, Miami, and Notre Dame. Michigan wins its first 4 games before losing 5 of its next 6 - something that certainly has Rich Rod and his coaching staff under fire. Miami beats ranked FSU and Georgia Tech before getting blown out by Virginia Tech (an honorable mention for this category) and losing to Clemson in OT (but note they have been the most impressive case for "comeback team thus far", winning all of their other games). Notre Dame just lost to Navy. Again. And they lost to Michigan - which is looking worse and worse every week (note to ND fans - if you are celebrating Michigan's demise - that's just hurting you).
3) The solid programs turning into elite programs but then shitting the bed. I'm talking to you, Iowa and Oregon. How can you reasonably expect anyone to take you serious this year when you either: (a) Almost lose your first game to a D-2 school and then lose to Northwestern of all people (Iowa) or (b) Get blown out in your first game in which your star RB gets suspended indefinitely for punching out an opposing player in the post-game and getting blown out by Stanford (Oregon). You guys had it made - could have made a Natty Title run and all you had to do was win your last 3 (Iowa) or 4 (Oregon) games. So sad.
Where We Are
ACC - Your best school (Georgia Tech) runs a high school offense that any self respecting defensive coordinator should be able to stop. Your "Atlantic" representative will have either 3 or 4 losses and with a little luck could receive a BCS bid (total joke). Your worst school (Maryland) is one of three schools from major conferences to already be eliminated from bowl contention. As a conference, for what seems like the 10th year in a row, you've failed to turn solid recruiting classes (VT, Miami, FSU, North Carolina) into on-the-field-talent. You suck. All non-ACC schools hate you for having a BCS bid.
Big 12 - Texas is your best school, and remains undefeated although they've played poorly this year. What does that say about your conference? The North division is again a total joke, currently led by Kansas State (really?). Nebraska again looks great one weekend and terrible another. Mizzou looks awful after putting together an excellent early season resume. Oklahoma fans should contemplate suicide as they have completely fallen apart this year, even after their stars chose to return (not their fault that they were injured, though).
Big East - I can't take you seriously since your basketball division has like 20 teams and your football division has like 5 teams. How does this happen? I demand an NCAA investigation. Cincinnati and Pitt have been very impressive thus far - but then you start to remember that it's Cincinnati and Pitt and want to cry. Syracuse is again terrible and is the only way that Greg Robinson keeps his job at Michigan next year. The entire city of Louisville still wants to light Bobby Petrino on fire, while WVU seemingly will get over the Rich Rod exodus very soon.
Big Ten - Two of your three best teams (PSU and OSU) are capable of losing to any team in the division on a given week. If Iowa loses another game you will rival the ACC for "team that deserves to be here least" in a BCS bowl game. Until Michigan returns to glory (if ever), your conference will continue to be a joke. In fact, this will probably be the case until cold weather teams start to beat warm weather teams, if that ever happens. If Rich Rod has proven anything, it's that warm weather kids hate playing in cold weather - when will he stop recruiting Florida kids and start focusing on the Midwest? Terrelle Pryor continues to believe killing people is OK - just not opposing players on the football field (teammates however are fair game).
Pac 10 - Holy crapshoot, Batman. USC has more talent than any other program but still manages to choke away an easy game (Washington) and blow away a crucial game (Oregon). Oregon looks like front-runners until they lose to Stanford and everyone remembers that Boise State is a better team. Arizona and Stanford are bright spots, but lack the talent to be effective on the national stage against other conferences. Washington State is 1-8.
SEC - Again, the only "real" conference in college football. And trust me, I hate writing that. BUT - they are not real as all the outsiders would like to think. Yes, Florida and Alabama will likely play again for the Nationa... err, SEC Championship, but where are the other teams? Ole Miss was #4 in the preseason rankings but sits at 6-3. They are hands down the most disappointing team in the land this year, and that's not good for the conference. Florida is not as good as advertised, and Alabama has found success by signing 35 kids every year and then having the misfits magically disappear throughout the season (this is the sketchiest and dirtiest tactic deployed by any school in the NCAA). LSU is having a down year and lacks the offensive firepower to be a legit threat. Georgia is a huge disappointment and Tennessee continues to suck on Phil Fullmer's departed dick.
Where We Are Headed
If I were a gambling man, things would play out like this:
ACC - Georgia Tech holds on and "treats" a nationally televised audience to one of the most boring BCS games of all time.
Big 12 - Texas runs the table, benefiting from a weak conference. They are blown out in the national title game.
Big East - Cincinnati goes undefeated and finishes third. People are reminded of Auburn in 2003 and eventually Congress rules the BCS to be "unconstitutional" or something like that, and finally every college football fan gets what they want - a playoff system. Cinci also wins their BCS bowl game.
Big Ten - Iowa backs into the Rose Bowl by losing to OSU, but then celebrating as OSU chokes away the Michigan game. RR saves his job for one more year by winning the Pizza Bowl game.
Pac 10 - Oregon hangs on by a thread and blows out Iowa in the Rose Bowl. The Rose Bowl continues to wish for better days - like when Vince Young graced its presence with last second wins over USC and Michigan.
SEC - Alabama gets its revenge on Florida and plays Texas for the National Title. They win. Handily.
TCU and Boise State go undefeated and one makes a bowl game (probably Boise State), seeing as how they won't leapfrog a one-loss Florida or Alabama. TCU fans bitch and moan, but then remembers they are the 15th most popular program in Texas (including high schools) and shuts the fuck up.
College basketball is again in full force when the bowl games roll around and fans nationwide continue to think "why do we care about these bowls again"?
Playoff system by 2012.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
NFL Picks - Week 9
Miami (+10.5) over NEW ENGLAND. Simply too many points here. If the Dolphins were a bad team (see: Tennessee) this would be easy money betting on the Pats. Unfortunately they are not a bad team, but not a really good team either. This is a good spread, IMO. I'll take Miami since I don't think New England scores a ton of points.
JACKSONVILLE (-6.5) over Kansas City. Another game I want to barf on more than I want to bet on. I think MJD scores a couple of TDs in this game and the Jags win by 7-10 points.
Baltimore (-3) over CINCINNATI. This game puts the Bengals into "pretender" land instead of "contender". I like what Baltimore has done over the past few weeks. Getting Ray Rice and Joe Flacco in the same draft is going to carry this team for the next five years - in which they should win a Super Bowl assuming they can replace some of their older players (Ray Lewis I'm looking at you) on D.
Green Bay (-10) over TAMPA BAY. I like this bet a lot. I think this is a case of "Vegas can't put the line high enough for Tampa Bay". If it were -14.5 I would think about betting on the Bucs, but they are the worst team in football right now, so why are they only laying 10 points to a team with a deadly offense? I don't get it.
Arizona (+3) over CHICAGO. I think Cutler has a down game here, and Warner has a decent one. That's really my only reasoning here. It also helps that somehow Arizona's RBs have been more effective than Forte this year. Very odd.
ATLANTA (-9.5) over Washington. Washington is bad. Atlanta is not.
Houston (+9) over INDY. I like what Schaub has been doing this year - the best QB pick without a doubt in fantasy football. Andre Johnson should be healed up for this game and the Colts are without Marlin Jackson, Bob Sanders, and Anthony Gonzalez (aka the Big 10 special).
NEW ORLEANS (-13) over Carolina. I'm going to call this my lock of the week. Jake Delhomme is picked three times and Brees throws for 3 TDs. The three headed monster of NO backs scores a couple of TDs in route to a big win here. Steve Smith agains contemplating putting a bounty on Delhomme's head.
SEATTLE (-10) over Detroit. Quest field is a tough place to play and the Lions are bad and banged up (will Kevin Smith or Calvin Johnson play? Why would they?). Seattle big here. Hasselbeck with a nice fantasy day (250 plus yards and 2-3 TDs).
SAN FRANCISCO (-4) over Tennessee. In the words of Bill Simmons, "are we really that afraid of Chris Johnson?" He's had two amazing games this year, and surprisingly, TEN only covered in one of those games. San Fran's D is legit, and their passing attack is much better with Smith. Crabtree is doing unbelievable things for a rookie WR holdout as well.
San Diego (+4.5) over NEW YORK GIANTS. Philip Rivers birthday given that the Giants' secondary is so bad / banged up. Big day for him.
PHILADELPHIA (-3) over Dallas. I'm predicting a bad day for Romo here. McNabb does enough to win this game. Miles Austin - I hate you.
DENVER (+3) over Pittsburgh. I think Pitt is the better team, but Denver is solid as well and getting points at home? That should be enough of a reason to take them here.
JACKSONVILLE (-6.5) over Kansas City. Another game I want to barf on more than I want to bet on. I think MJD scores a couple of TDs in this game and the Jags win by 7-10 points.
Baltimore (-3) over CINCINNATI. This game puts the Bengals into "pretender" land instead of "contender". I like what Baltimore has done over the past few weeks. Getting Ray Rice and Joe Flacco in the same draft is going to carry this team for the next five years - in which they should win a Super Bowl assuming they can replace some of their older players (Ray Lewis I'm looking at you) on D.
Green Bay (-10) over TAMPA BAY. I like this bet a lot. I think this is a case of "Vegas can't put the line high enough for Tampa Bay". If it were -14.5 I would think about betting on the Bucs, but they are the worst team in football right now, so why are they only laying 10 points to a team with a deadly offense? I don't get it.
Arizona (+3) over CHICAGO. I think Cutler has a down game here, and Warner has a decent one. That's really my only reasoning here. It also helps that somehow Arizona's RBs have been more effective than Forte this year. Very odd.
ATLANTA (-9.5) over Washington. Washington is bad. Atlanta is not.
Houston (+9) over INDY. I like what Schaub has been doing this year - the best QB pick without a doubt in fantasy football. Andre Johnson should be healed up for this game and the Colts are without Marlin Jackson, Bob Sanders, and Anthony Gonzalez (aka the Big 10 special).
NEW ORLEANS (-13) over Carolina. I'm going to call this my lock of the week. Jake Delhomme is picked three times and Brees throws for 3 TDs. The three headed monster of NO backs scores a couple of TDs in route to a big win here. Steve Smith agains contemplating putting a bounty on Delhomme's head.
SEATTLE (-10) over Detroit. Quest field is a tough place to play and the Lions are bad and banged up (will Kevin Smith or Calvin Johnson play? Why would they?). Seattle big here. Hasselbeck with a nice fantasy day (250 plus yards and 2-3 TDs).
SAN FRANCISCO (-4) over Tennessee. In the words of Bill Simmons, "are we really that afraid of Chris Johnson?" He's had two amazing games this year, and surprisingly, TEN only covered in one of those games. San Fran's D is legit, and their passing attack is much better with Smith. Crabtree is doing unbelievable things for a rookie WR holdout as well.
San Diego (+4.5) over NEW YORK GIANTS. Philip Rivers birthday given that the Giants' secondary is so bad / banged up. Big day for him.
PHILADELPHIA (-3) over Dallas. I'm predicting a bad day for Romo here. McNabb does enough to win this game. Miles Austin - I hate you.
DENVER (+3) over Pittsburgh. I think Pitt is the better team, but Denver is solid as well and getting points at home? That should be enough of a reason to take them here.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Early Season Fantasy Basketball Review
Players I Wish I Had I Drafted:
1) Carmelo Anthony. I bet he finishes with better fantasy numbers than Danny Granger. Even though he was taken 2-3 rounds later. He's on fire this season and it's an extension of what he did last year. Undoubtedly having Billups (his first real PG) helps him a ton, plus he seems motivated for the first time in his career. I think Denver was not just benefitting "everything going right for them last season" as Bill Simmons would write, but a character change from adding Billups / Carmelo taking his game to the next level.
2) Kevin Martin. Who else from Sacramento is going to score? Anyone? He could average 30 points a game this year, as well as 3 three pointers per game. That would be huge for a guy you didn't have to take in the first three rounds.
3) Channing Frye. 4.3 threes per game from a PF/C? You have to be kidding me. Eventually this has to drop off, but damn - that's something you can't ignore. He's also getting minutes (30 per game) and was basically undrafted in most leagues. He might be worth more than Amare this year. No joke.
4) Larry Hughes. It's been a crazy NBA season thus far when you see Hughes and Frye on this list. Why do I like him? He's getting minutes (38 per game, wow), and turning them into points (19 pg), threes (2 pg), rebounds (4), assists (4), and steals (3). Could cool off later in the year, but again - this is a waiver wire guy who's in the top 10.
5) Louis Williams. Should have seen this coming with the Andre Miller departure. He's not getting enough assists (5 per game), but making up for that in points, rebounds, threes, steals, and very high percentages (over .600 FG% thus far - amazing). He will cool off has his FGs stop dropping, but definitely a top 10 PG this year.
Others - Danilo Gallinari, Marc Gasol, Andre Blatche, and Aaron Brooks. All guys that you could have had in the 10th round or later that are currently putting up third round or better production. All are getting solid minutes, too. Danilo is the wild card here as I don't trust the Knicks too much, but the others will be solid guys that will help you win a title this year.
Guys I'd Hit the Panic Button On
1) Danny Granger. Sure the points are there (over 26 per game), but where are the rebounds (4.5 pg) and assists (2 pg)? He'll be a top 50 player no doubt, but top 5? I don't think so. And he was being drafted there. In fact, one guy took him #1 overall in one of my drafts. He'll be regretting that all year.
2) Amare Stoudemire. Getting drafted around 10th this year - he won't put up that production. People are starting to realize he's not all that he's cracked up to be, and with the emergence of Channing Frye (the future in Phoenix, seeing as how Amare will leave this summer) he loses value. I expect him to be in the 50th-75th range this year. A total fantasy team killer.
3) Caron Butler. 10.5 points per game in two games thus far. Not good. I never thought he deserved a high draft pick in the first place (top 30) given that Arenas aka Captain Ballhog was going to be back. What I'm wondering right now though is how he has managed to score 21 points this season thus far without having Jamison there to steal away scoring opportunities. And Washington sucks.
4) Andre Miller. Taken in the top 70 in many drafts and he isn't fitting in at all with his new team. This is the first player on the list I might actually consider dropping. He's a horrible fit with his new team (not even starting) and it doesn't look like it's going to get better. 6 points per game and 3 assists. That's what you've gotten him thus far. Terrible.
5) T.J. Ford. Taken in the top 100 but putting up 350ish stats thus far. His minutes are down (20 per game), and his stats aren't good at all - percentages suck, not scoring, and not dishing. Doesn't seem to be fitting in well with Indiana right now as Danny Granger attempts to take all the shots.
Others: Darko.
1) Carmelo Anthony. I bet he finishes with better fantasy numbers than Danny Granger. Even though he was taken 2-3 rounds later. He's on fire this season and it's an extension of what he did last year. Undoubtedly having Billups (his first real PG) helps him a ton, plus he seems motivated for the first time in his career. I think Denver was not just benefitting "everything going right for them last season" as Bill Simmons would write, but a character change from adding Billups / Carmelo taking his game to the next level.
2) Kevin Martin. Who else from Sacramento is going to score? Anyone? He could average 30 points a game this year, as well as 3 three pointers per game. That would be huge for a guy you didn't have to take in the first three rounds.
3) Channing Frye. 4.3 threes per game from a PF/C? You have to be kidding me. Eventually this has to drop off, but damn - that's something you can't ignore. He's also getting minutes (30 per game) and was basically undrafted in most leagues. He might be worth more than Amare this year. No joke.
4) Larry Hughes. It's been a crazy NBA season thus far when you see Hughes and Frye on this list. Why do I like him? He's getting minutes (38 per game, wow), and turning them into points (19 pg), threes (2 pg), rebounds (4), assists (4), and steals (3). Could cool off later in the year, but again - this is a waiver wire guy who's in the top 10.
5) Louis Williams. Should have seen this coming with the Andre Miller departure. He's not getting enough assists (5 per game), but making up for that in points, rebounds, threes, steals, and very high percentages (over .600 FG% thus far - amazing). He will cool off has his FGs stop dropping, but definitely a top 10 PG this year.
Others - Danilo Gallinari, Marc Gasol, Andre Blatche, and Aaron Brooks. All guys that you could have had in the 10th round or later that are currently putting up third round or better production. All are getting solid minutes, too. Danilo is the wild card here as I don't trust the Knicks too much, but the others will be solid guys that will help you win a title this year.
Guys I'd Hit the Panic Button On
1) Danny Granger. Sure the points are there (over 26 per game), but where are the rebounds (4.5 pg) and assists (2 pg)? He'll be a top 50 player no doubt, but top 5? I don't think so. And he was being drafted there. In fact, one guy took him #1 overall in one of my drafts. He'll be regretting that all year.
2) Amare Stoudemire. Getting drafted around 10th this year - he won't put up that production. People are starting to realize he's not all that he's cracked up to be, and with the emergence of Channing Frye (the future in Phoenix, seeing as how Amare will leave this summer) he loses value. I expect him to be in the 50th-75th range this year. A total fantasy team killer.
3) Caron Butler. 10.5 points per game in two games thus far. Not good. I never thought he deserved a high draft pick in the first place (top 30) given that Arenas aka Captain Ballhog was going to be back. What I'm wondering right now though is how he has managed to score 21 points this season thus far without having Jamison there to steal away scoring opportunities. And Washington sucks.
4) Andre Miller. Taken in the top 70 in many drafts and he isn't fitting in at all with his new team. This is the first player on the list I might actually consider dropping. He's a horrible fit with his new team (not even starting) and it doesn't look like it's going to get better. 6 points per game and 3 assists. That's what you've gotten him thus far. Terrible.
5) T.J. Ford. Taken in the top 100 but putting up 350ish stats thus far. His minutes are down (20 per game), and his stats aren't good at all - percentages suck, not scoring, and not dishing. Doesn't seem to be fitting in well with Indiana right now as Danny Granger attempts to take all the shots.
Others: Darko.
Every Blog Needs Some Lil Wayne
I can't decide if this is garbage or pure awesomeness. I think it's pure awesomness. He has to be so high for this entire song.
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